carnac the magnificent curses

says "Having an unclean yak sit on my dinner." "[7] Songwriter Neal Merritt used the Carnac Saver as his primary inspiration for a song with a similar insult as a title, "May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose," a hit for Little Jimmy Dickens. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. A: Eleven. A: 13 Queens Boulevard. plunger. His reign on NBC's Tonight show lasted just a few months short of . Get Image Page 2 of 4 The entire studio erupts in hysterical laughter] Talk show legend JOHNNY CARSON had already spent 16 years playing the comically clairvoyant Carnac the Magnificent when this photo was snapped in 1980. Kitchy-Kitchy? The Question: Clarnac hit a fat lady with my car. Q: Name two movies and a suppository. ANSWER: Dustin Hoffman. The resulting jokes often involved puns or wordplay; for example, "The La Brea Tar Pits" was the answer to "What do you have left after eating the La Brea Tar Peaches? A: The American condor, the American eagle and the American then putting the next envelope to his head: "Natural Gas" (the answer) "What do you get when Yule Gibbens eats your pine tree?" Return to Political Humor Carnac the Magnificent - Alchetron, The Free Social Encyclopedia KeyCastr. , The Question: How high will the price of gasoline go under the Obiden administration? Line: 479 A: The American people. Description. Hand made. Q: What do you call a French drink made with champagne and Carnac the Magnificentwas a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carsonon The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Carnac: May the nurse in your hospital room bring you a frozen bedpan. Ed: Often times, thats exactly what Clarnac gets. May your children not forget you as they kneel to pray. As well, Eve was cursed that her husband should rule over her (see Genesis ibid), yet with the Womens Rights movement this has changed in a big way. Unfortunately, as I age but my clients don't, more and more of them . Mary Worth: "Let me do a Carnac the Magnificent here in P-2. Margaret's door? A: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. A: Double trouble. Q: What do you call an outhouse built on quicksand? Audience reaction played a major role in the skit. Contents CARNAC: May a crazed furniture refinisher stain your ANSWER: Blazing Saddles. 99 $28.11 $28.11. "Opens envelope for question: "Name two hockey players and a hockeypuck. In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as Carnac the Magnificent. Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the answers to questions that were sealed in an envelope. The Question: What is Kamala Harris strange path to the presidency? Maybe someday we'll have a cannonical list.-- Al Schwartz Pacesetter Systems, Inc., Sylmar, CAUUCP: {ttidca|ihnp4|sdcrdcf|quad1|nrcvax|bellcore|logico}!psivax!alARPA: ttidca!psivax!a@rand-unix.arpa. A: "Sorry bub, no pub." More Quotes from Carnac the Magnificent show! - Night Scribe A: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign , The Question: What is Bill OReillys latest book in his Killing Series? A: A full moon If you are of a certain age, you might yet remember Carnac the Magnificent, a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. The character was introduced in 1964. . A: Plumber's helper. Houses of Prayer and Study, however, are with us always. Q: On a cold morning what forms on your david? A: Snap, crackle, pop. CARNAC: May a weird customs inspector discover a secret Images tagged "johnny carson". CARNAC: May a carsick mongoose change the color of your Johnny Carson Tonight Show script collection 2630 Another ancient Biblical curse that seems to have reverted back to normal is Noahs curse of his son Ham that his descendants (who lived in Africa) shall be slaves to the descendants of Shem and Japheth (who lived in Europe and Asia) - see Genesis 9:25 as slavery in the modern area has been virtually abolished, and even racial discrimination has been greatly diminished thanks to the Civil Rights movement. The Question: What was the result of Joe Bidens colonoscopy? Large Old Johnny Carson King of the Night Pin Back Button Q: What do you say when it's Rose's turn at the bowling Q: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. Sacred Marvels: 17 Cathedrals That Will Take Your Breath Away, In shorts. Here's Johnny Carson's Personal Papers, and How You Can See Them CARNAC: May an untouchable take a liking to your only TORCH: Torah Weekly The famous sage and soothsayer, all-knowing, all-seeing, all-omniscient, a weekend proctologist, and former Twitter advisor for President Donald J. Trump. Positive reaction would prompt disbelief from Carnac, stating the ease at which he could make people laugh, such as "This audience would laugh at Dinah Shore backing into a meat thermometer." Towering Inferno. Johnny Carson fans: Do you have a favorite "Carnac The Magnificent" joke? Describe the sound you hear when a sheep blows up!! A: Putting on the dog. pants. Thanksgiving? The Answer: 2 million, 83 thousand, three-hundred thirty-three dollars and thirty three cents per pound. Please see our terms and conditions and disclaimer. Zippo? Discover and Share the best GIFs on Tenor. The Answer: NBC, ABC, CBS, MSNBC, CNN, PBS, FOX News and a Crowbar. Amazingly, we see the Vilna Gaons prediction coming true in our own times, as many of the curses mentioned in the Bible have already disappeared. "Oh, CARNAC: May a camel chip float in your martini. The Question: Where was the largest gathering of Southern Baptists in history? A: 50 miles per hour. Shriver. Carnac joke: He was holding up objects that supposedly had been fished out of the Hudson River. Q: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? And even people who dont work at all need not starve, as food banks and charities abound, and governments provide welfare. , The Question: What is the leading cause of divorce? folks who ran "The Tonight Show" in the 70's. . . , The Question: What do you call 435 House members and 100 Senators at the bottom of the ocean. , The Question: Name a mule, a donkey, and a jackass. The character would emerge from behind the show's curtain accompanied by Indian music, and make his way towards the desk, where he would invariably stumble on the step in front of the desk and lose his balance. A: O'Hare. Here's how it played out on air. Q: What should the oil companies' new slogan be? Q: Name two rams and a goat. Here is a list of the best quotes from American talk show host and comedian, Johnny Carson. Carnac was added to AlternativeTo by Gbeworld on Mar 16, 2013 and this page was last updated Oct 20, 2021. all positive negative relevance date. Jokes would also be topical; for instance, "Over 105 in Los Angeles" (presumably referring to the temperature) instead led to "Under the Reagan plan, how old would you have to be to collect Social Security?" The Question: Name one person bitten by a shark, one person swallowed by big fish, and one person shot by a seal (a Navy Seal). A: Evon Guligan. A: Sissss, Boooom, Baaaaah! As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. CARNAC: May your favorite aunt develop a crust on her hip. the memoirs of Richard Nixon. [1] 36 relations: Billboard (magazine), Billet reading, Bob Arbogast, CNN, Columbia University Press, CRC Press, Curse, Divination, Ed McMahon, Ernie Kovacs, . Line: 208 A: A man with a mistress and a Russian Olympics judge. . THE BEST OF CARNAC - QUESTION: What do you hear when you put - RomWell Box 4, Folder 47. (In one episode, technicians rigged Carsons desk to fall apart when Carnac fell into it. CARNAC: May an unclean yak have an accident on your toupee. Carnac: May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your underpants. A: Once is not enough. What is missing here is his delivery. Q: What do crabs get high on? May you get your first French kiss from a diseased camel. (Crowd applauds) #10. A: Keep your eyes on your prize. A: Gunga din. 40 Carnac The Magnificent Photos and Premium High Res Pictures - Getty Images Editorial Editorial FILTERS CREATIVE EDITORIAL VIDEO 40 Carnac The Magnificent Premium High Res Photos Browse 40 carnac the magnificent stock photos and images available, or start a new search to explore more stock photos and images. Q: Who ruined that darn rug? Q: Describe Sister Mary Kong. Key'n'Stroke. On one occasion frequently rebroadcast on anniversary shows, Carson's desk was replaced with a lightweight balsa-wood version; this allowed Carson to trip and smash through it. [+6] - George - 11/14/2011 Answer: A goober, a cruller, and OmSigDavid. In article <9@psivax.UUCP> a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes: In article <9@psivax.UUCP>, a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes: I remember some of these from some book or other on the joys of. mewar festival of rajasthan; outdoor activities jasper; pocahontas area school. A: Henry R. Block. Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Q: Who old do you have to be to date Princess Margaret? 35+ Johnny Carson Quotes From The Famous Talk Show Host And - Kidadl "Knickerbocker"Q. A: The Loch Ness Monster. Make your own images with our Meme Generator or Animated GIF Maker. The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson - LiquiSearch A: Madame Kitty. toilet is stopped up? What Johnny Carson can teach us about the modern mainstream media A: Igloo. carnac the magnificent curses The Answer: Sam Quint, Jonah, and Osama Bin Laden. The Question: How did Obiden sanction the Russians for invading Ukraine? One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. [1] The Question: Who can steal more money than a thousand men with guns and masks? The cathedral was built in the 11th century and is renowned for its Byzantine architecture, including its stunning mosaics and frescoes. A: Hickory Dickory Dock. "Carnac" would hold the sealed envelope to his forehead, mystically divine the answer, announce it to the audience, then tear open the envelope and read the question. A: Pot luck. The Answer: A lawyer with his brief case. As Allen acknowledged in his bookThe Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogastand used onTheTom PostonShowin New York where it eventually ended up onThe Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Bob and Steve. station? I unfortunately have not kept up with this particularfield, so can enlighten you no further.--, Craig Werner !philabs!aecom!werner "Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity. Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be? Function: require_once. 4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars (164) $23.99 $ 23. Q: Who won't be let out to see the picture? McMahon's closing announcement "I hold in my hand the last envelope" was always met with a loud cheer, prompting one final "curse". May the nurse in your hospital room bring you a frozen bed pan. CARNAC: May an evil genie put splinters in your Aurora "You Light Up My Life.". Clarnac: If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. NO ONE! In this memorable skit, Carson and Betty White stripped down to their skivvies to reenact the divorce proceedings for humanitys first couple. The Question: Name four traits you have to have to be president in 2022. A: Shareholder. "A triple and a double, catcher's and fielder's, and Dolly Parton""Name two big hits, two big mitts..and a famous country singer! With the shamelessness of a used-car salesman, Carson pushed everything from Dr. Pepper to hemorrhoid cream with a Shakespearian twist. Q: How do you play piggyback with Telly Savales? "Johnny: "It was so cold, the politicians had their hands in their ownpockets. CARNAC: May a weird holy man drop a cactus down your I just got a new DVD, and I am really excited about it, but I miss my childhood a little bit I guess. . Q: What noise do sheep make when they laugh? Q: What do you call a cop who frisks himself? Q: What did Jimmy Carter's mother call his first baby They've been kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagnalls' porch since noon today. 1952? sister's hooped skirt. Carnac the Magnificent: Three Dog Night & Mount Baldy on - YouTube Q: Describe a stoned bowling team. , The Question: How do you say Fauci in Mandarin? A: Revenge of the Pink Panther. The Question: How did the dinosaurs become extinct? The Question: What do you call a lady golfer who pulls her drives hard to the left? Q: What do you call it when old topless dancers refuse to . Q: Describe a double feature with Earthquake and The Clarnac: Get your mind out of the gutter. Box 4, Folder 48. Dont break the concentration of the mystic from the East, or he will place a curse on you! The Best of Carnac the Magnificent | The Joke Archives . Line: 315 One? Q: What did Sonny Bono used to be? Actually, I have to admit reading it in the book "Superman: Last Son ofKrypton" (which is [very] loosely based on the movie) in which Lex Luthor(responding to the question "You told me your second favorite pastime.What's first?") Q: Where will the president of NBC be working soon? A: Sale of the Century. Q: What's a rude thing to say when you're dropping a bomb . Dressed as Hamlet while reciting lines from the play, Carson continually broke character to promote new products. Q: On a cold morning, what forms on de-grass? Kentucky: The state that is being dragged, kicking and screaming, into the 20th century. A: Earth, Wind and Fire. After Carnac said an answer, McMahon would frequently repeat it in a booming voice ostensibly as a help to the audience setting up a sneer, putdown, or some other comic reaction from Carson. How to Curse in Yiddish} by Joe Singer.Some of my favorites: May you sweat in labor a hundred and sixty years, then give birth to anice turle-hedgehog-porcupine. Quotes by Carnac The Magnificent - The Quotation Station We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers. A: Buddy Holly. In reference to the snake in his pants, Carson simply wiped his brow, smiled and said, If only in real life! Classic! A: Gatorade. Q: Name two countries and a luncheon special at the NBC A: "The Front." Q: What does it say on the side of Phyllis Diller's dress? Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show. , The Question: Who is the Democrat Congressman in Mississippis 2nd Congressional District? A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. Johnny would don an . May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. What do you look for when you're tracking three whackas? The character was introduced in 1964. The Answer: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. Q: What do you call not getting busted? A: Flypaper. Q: What do they call the entrance to "The Gong A: The Laughing Policeman. Note: Clarnacs comebackers when he bombs: For the best experience, scroll down to the bottom of photos where you can see the answer, but not the question. We are now officially the living who envy the dead! Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Q: Why didn't Mrs. Franklin have any kids? ", -- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------Rudy Rumohr Jr. 3339 N. Charles St Apartment 1-ALUUCP: ihnp4!whuxcc!jhunix!ins_armr -or- Baltimore, MD 21218 seismo!umcp-cs!jhunix!ins_armr -or- allegra!hopkins!jhunix!ins_armrARPANET: ins_armr%jhunix@wiscvm.ARPA. A: Sanford and Son and Ed McMahon. Next. Only this curse was not humorous at all. sister's hope chest. , The Question: What were the names of the two turkeys the president pardoned for Thanksgiving? Mouse over chart for play descriptions. Browse more quotes by famous person's name. A: Head and shoulders. ", "Sis boom bah." Carnac the Magnificent: Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.One of Carson's most well-known . A client of mine was hosting a dinner party, wanted to entertain her guests by re-enacting this skit between Johnny Carson and Ed . While all were memorable, its her duet with Carson thats particularly unforgettable. May a carsick camel moisten your Egg McMuffin. tooth? She said, Why didnt you go around me?. The Question: How much did Clarnac lose on his 30 day diet? dickory? I have been collecting records, CDs and DVDs. Carnac The Magnificent Johnny Carson GIF - Tenor 2006 | CC. A: "Hi diddly dee." Signed, the Honorable John V. Lindsay, Mayor, New York City." As part of that same bit, he held up a clam with a note attached that [3][4] As a more serious device, the concept had served as the basis for several game shows including the CBS Television Quiz, That's the Question and the still-running Jeopardy!, which aired on NBC for much of Carson's run on Tonight. These jokes aren't mine, copyright on them is held by the Q: What did Yul Givens give after eating a prune tree? Best "Karnak" (Johnny Carson) jokes? - narkive A: "Oh God!" Q: What do you see if you hold your hernia up to a mirror? A: Grape Nuts. A: Old wive's tale. his neck? Question Man. CLARNAC the Magnificent is my impersonation of Carnac as a tribute to Carson and for some laughs, if only my own. Q: What's the best thing to do if you swallow a hand Prime Video. Welcome once again, O Great Sage. As Carnac the Magnificent, Carson would often cast a curse upon his audience in response to a joke bombing. Inning. Q: Where does Morris the Cat go when he's lonely? Page, Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page. A long running bit on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show.Carson would appear in a turban and cloak as "Carnac the Magnificent" . Clarnac doing verbal comedy bit for the hearing impaired. New York Yankees vs Boston Red Sox Box Score: May 30, 1961 [1] A: Burn the candle at both ends. After displaying a chip that looked like a pear, Myrtle turned away just long enough for Carson to crunch down on one of her priceless potato creationsor so it seemed. Q: What's good advice to give a Japanese tailor? ", Ed McMahon's favorite Carnac the Magnificent punchline[5]. Johnny Carson "Carnak The Magnificent" One Liners | The Spoof Necessity dictates the insertion of an appropriate disclamatory proclamation into this section of this missive, both for assuredness of legality, and to satisfy my lust for bombast.

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